Archive for August, 2012

Chad Johnson may have changed his name but he still won a shiny new P45

So it came to pass that the weekly peek inside the psyche of Chad Johnson was over almost as soon as it began.

After one week where Chad looked like a joker that coaches were able to wryly grin at but deal with, the former Pro-Bowl wideout allegedly assaulted his new wife and was swiftly cut, like a ham hock in a bacon slicer.

Watching Miami Dolphins coach Joe Philbin skirt around the firing as Chad attempted to deliver his ‘I know I’ve been an idiot but please keep me on the team’ speech was pretty painful.

It was all over the moment he drove into the Dolphins training camp, got out his car and had his image given the old ‘slo-mo’ treatment with the dramatic music in the background.

Now to many that cut was the most significant part of the second episode of Hard Knocks 2012, but to me it was Coach Philbin just looking completely underwhelmed as offensive guard Josh Samuda was asked to do a ‘spin’ to show his colleagues the rather extensive cock and balls shaved into his head.

After episode one saw the rookies getting spots of bleach rubbed into their heads to end up looking like manky leopards, the giant black penis was a sight to behold.

Now there is rookie hazing and then there is just an ability to look – well like a dick head – and Samuda is indeed the chief.

The Dolphins have not exactly looked good in the Pre-Season – two losses and absolutely no clarity on a starting quarterback.

Now the biggest dick has left the Dolphins organisation, its time to shave the giant cock and balls of everyone’s heads and get down to business, as the REAL football season is only a few short weeks away.

Fantasy hint – Don’t draft Dolphins wideouts – unless you have a 26 man offensive roster.

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It’s been a pretty special week in my house, having been to three 2012 Olympics events, four football matches (using the round ball) in Coventry and a trip to Wimbledon for some 2nd round tennis action with my gorgeous wife and 9 month old daughter Gabriella (see pic above). 

Team GB have currently as I type got 14 gold medals, including three track and field medals earned last night in under an hour. I’m currently watching the women’s marathon as the typical British rain drizzles on our nation’s capital. 

Overall Team GB have won plenty of medals in cycling and rowing, but they have crashed and burned in events that American’s have dominated, such as swimming and basketball. 

It was with a twisted brain that I read the article on NFL.com that the Ginger Prince Goodell would like American Football to be considered as an Olympic sport. Now Team USA will likely get two gold’s for the men’s and women’s basketball, but at least other nations can compete. Lithuania’s men’s basketball team were in fact leading Team USA at various points in the 4th quarter yesterday against Kobe, LeBron et al. 

Having American Football at the Olympics would be absurd in my opinion, unless it was only open to athletes who had never signed a professional contract. Even then the likes of Nebraska, LSU and Alabama could field a team that would beat any nation in the rest of the world. 

I went to see Japan v Hounduras (see pic below) in the Olympic football (round ball variety) and it ended 0-0 with both teams playing hard and qualifying for the final eight.Image

Just imagine this was Japan v Honduras in a game of Olympic American Football. It would be more like a scene from The Replacements v Wildcats.

Roger stick to trying to get an NFL franchise in London please and give up on the Olympic dream. 

With NFL pre-season starting tonight I for one can’t wait to see some REAL football.